Confidence, by definition says “firm trust”. What is confidence in the average person’s life? The power to go out without makeup? The ability to ask for a raise? Leaving your job because you’re miserable? Telling your mother your child is not wearing the outfit she bought for Christmas? Maybe it is sharing a risky idea with your business partner? Maybe it’s leaving an unhappy marriage knowing that your friends and family will help you make it work? Maybe it is how you feel when you take the stairs instead of the elevator? Or the perfect shade of red for your lipstick? CONFIDENCE is interesting because much of it has to do with your ability or “FIRM TRUST” in yourself to not worry about others opinions of you, your looks and the choices you make. If we weren’t worried about what others thought would you make some decisions differently, would you dress, act, or respond with an alternate approach, do you think you would be better off?
Confidence is something we all need and most of us strive for daily. To do this many of us are much better off when we are surrounded by true friendship, or family, our pets, or anyone who takes us for who WE really are. Which isn’t always easy because you must be confident to make the choice to surround yourself with those individuals, who may not be the coolest, most popular, or most beautiful.
Confidence is tricky because we are born with a full tank, but as the days, months and years pass us by, that tank often loses steam. Whether it is because we are deep in the depths of social media comparison, the constant “what if” cycle or simply just not feeling good enough. There is much talk from mental health professionals talk about girls losing CONFIDENCE around the time they are premenstrual (which can be as early as 9 years old), coincidentally this is the age girls start being concerned with how they look because they are more socially influenced and in the electronic focused world we live in scrolling and swiping often outweigh the opinions of our parents or others that love us. Girls at this age start worrying about being pretty enough, being the most popular, getting the most likes, having the best shoes and somehow … they worry less about being smarter, educated, aware and CONFIDENT. WHERE DOES THAT GET LOST? During these formative years it feels as though it is in this new social age that our mothers and caregivers influence is less than the outside worlds influence. If we have straight hair, we want it to be curly, if we have blue eyes we want brown, we want our teeth whiter and our eyelashes longer. At this age were often just not happy with who we are, and the influence from social media, music videos, and the beauty industry combined with hormones and peers, and you very often end up with young and impressionable individuals who have lost the FIRM TRUST in themselves.
So, what we really want to figure out is how do we help ourselves with confidence? Here at SkinCatering we believe (and we can’t stress this next part enough – AT EVERY AGE) we should focus on true friendship and surrounding ourselves with activities, individuals and things that bring us joy. We should teach and install the values of real honest, open, judgement free friendship. We can guide our next generation at any age to give their friendship unconditionally and you will receive friendship unconditionally. All children and adults but even more so young girls and adult women need to have FIRM TRUST they can talk to friends and family and know they are in a safe environment. We need to know we are appreciated, that friends want to spend time with us, that we are valued and supported. That our friends will help us no matter what, we need to know we can tell them ANYTHING and have that FIRM TRUST they will respect that information given to them without fear of embarrassment. Secondly FIGHT THE SYSTEM girls (well everyone really, but especially you young ladies out there), take that outside influence of social media down. Remember that it is a screen, there are filters that completely alter the appearance of the individuals we see looking back at us. Some of your favorite influencers spend 5 hours getting that one “candid” shot that we are liking. Put your time and energy and value true real-life friendships. Live each day of your life as if you are an influencer, but use that power to spread love, kindness, forgiveness, and acceptance. Although it may feel amazing to have a good hair day or that flawless contour, life is not always emphasizing how good you look but it should ALWAYS be about how you treat others. You could be the most beautiful girl in the room but if you are mean, dishonest or undermining to others … the make-up, outfit, or shoes you have on won’t balance out the ugliness of that behavior.
Focus on CONFIDENCE whether you are young or old. Put your energy into building the FIRM BELIEF that your squad, friends, parents have your best interest at heart and will help you achieve all of your dreams.
And always remember to #Catertoyourspirit <3.